Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
