Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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