She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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