Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
