these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
