You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's never too late to be topless.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
