Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
