fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
