Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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