I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
