if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude i'm inner monologue high
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
