Who did Billy Mays play for?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
