I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
