I like to think it a success when the cops are called
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
