Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Randomize
