it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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