Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
