it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Randomize
