return my video game
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
