i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
