im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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