He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
