Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
