was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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