Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
