If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
