Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
