I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
