it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
