You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
