My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
