If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
