sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
