Christians are straight up FREAKS
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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