every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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