Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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