he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
