omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
