If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
