Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
