I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
