There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
