How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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