what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
