After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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