My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
