You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
