She's JV to your varsity
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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