Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
