Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
