I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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