you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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