K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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