Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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